Broken limbs never stop people

So christmas is over and this year was a little bit more cheerful then most mainly because I didn't have to clean! But before christmas I remembered that little girl.
On the 22nd of December my friend had a catch up session with our friends from highschool because he now lives in Melbourne. It started off lovely, we sat in a cafe waiting for the rest to come, then had fish and chips at the beach. The weather wasn't nice so we decided to not stay at the beach. But what were we to do? two people who we will name Mary and John (not their real names) had been ice skating that morning, but people wanted to go ice skating, so they decided to go rollerblading, I personally really didn't. Mary and I (haha funny calling her that) decided to go shopping because she knew I didn't want to go but John got upset with Mary, like always, it is always about him, he tagged along to all of our special events like Angus and Juila stone and days where we go shopping. I didn't go in their car to the rollerblading place but I met them there, we were a little late because the person taking me had to drive her brother home. By the time I got there John had "convience" which means basically bullied Mary into staying. Now this is where the little girl came in, I remember here that I promised myself I would make the most of life, why don't I stay with my friends even though I hate rollerblading because I have terrible balance, so I stayed. 50 minutes later and it wasn't going so bad, we were singing away and I was a little better at skating but not much, 2 minutes left and I was planning on getting off but let's just say it didn't go to plan. John had apparently been behind my back teasing me making funny moves, then Mary told him to stop and grabbed my waist. Now Mary was going faster than me and I was slowing down (braking) to go out. She let go, I fell forward and my ankle went backwards. I don't remember too much about getting out of the ring all I remeber was the pain, and god did it hurt. 10 minutes sitting there and these people only gave me ice packs! They got me a wheel chair and took me to my friend's car, Ashleigh this is I am sure she won't mind me using her name. Ashleigh and Richard (Melbourne guy) were in my car driving me to hospital. Mary had to go home but she was amazing while I was waiting, singing Angus and Julia with me! John just kept making stupid comments and really not helping.
So car trip consisted of me swearing, yelling and a few tears during the painful parts of the trip, turning, braking, dumps, actually the whole trip. First we went to a private hospital that wouldn't take me so off to Royal Perth Hospital in Emergancy. The hospital where I met the girl. Now at this time I really wasn't thinking about her, I was in serious pain here! You really don't want the full details because I was in there for 4 hours! But I'll inform you my two friends sat there the whole time taking turns coming in to me, poor Richard had to be there when my cast was being put on, during my I am as high as a kite on drugs and happy gas. I planned my friends wedding dress, purple with orange squines, green flowers, yellow bow, white featehr scarf and poo brown shoes...
So I had to breaks in the fibia about 1 inch apart, won't find out until the 29th if I need surgery! But once I came out I had another xray and Richard left me, I was alone. The drugs had worn off a little bit (but I was still crying in pain and I had no idea what I was screaming during the cast part, shame cause I really love Scottish accents and the doctor was Scottish) and then I thought of that girl. What were her chances of being alive? And I cried, I seriously balled my eyes out (behind the screen so no one noticed!)I don't usually cry but these drugs did weird things something I am not used to. Then the physio arrived, crutches and soon out of there! 9pm by this stage and I was meant to be at a friend's house that night, instead we just drove past so I could give her the present I bought her, she gave we water and some chips, which was so good at the time. My two friends drove me home, me still as high as a kite texting Mum. Upon arriving I was apparently very out of it. I said good night to my friends and went to sleep, drugs help like that, right now it was 10:30pm (I think).
At 1am I woke up, thinking I needed the toilet but boy was I wrong. Then I remembered what the nurse was telling me just before my cast. These drugs and gas will make you sick this will stop it for now. So those chips and water... not a good mix. Mummy came to my rescue but I was so tired I fell asleep in my vomit, which was disgusting!

This cast is taking time to get used to, not being able to move my toes properly, the pain still there, the pain of using crutches, the bordem of laying in bed all day because you can't do anything. Christmas was just my dad's family because we had my mum's family on the 20th (So happy because I made black forest cake which was amazing!). Usually my dad's family hates me and insults me, which this year wasn't too bad, I was just called hoppy and ignored in the corner. But it was one of my better christmas. I had a long walk across the road and to my neighbours (the sick one) which is about 250 metres away, took me 10 minutes to walk and so much pain! And it was hot, I am hating this summer!

I can't wait for Wednesday because this cast is now a little too big because the swelling has come down and it's painful! But also I get to see some friends. I was very upset about not being about to go to a friend's new years party but I suppose it's understandable. I am not allowed to drink alcohol and somehow I know it I go I will drink. So instead I am hopefully having a few friends to watch doctor who :)
I think it is better that way, I will be surrounded by people who actually care about me. I did invite John but guess what? He just declined and didn't give a reason, facebook invite it's not too hard to write on the wall saying sorry I am busy. But after I post this I will say no more because Mary still cares about him and I don't want to ruin that friendship, he is her other best friend. But I think there has been some damage, they haven't talked since the accident, and he said to me that Vidhi made him stay but I know it was him that convienced her, he only said that she did afterwards. I hate breaking friendships, I have been in a huge split between my friendship group a few years back just because two people where fighting, took them 3 years to make up but by then it was too late, I lost friends, people who I was once close to and I don't wish that upon anyone. Still telling her nothing has to change because of this but we shall see what happens from here. And thank you for listening to my rants!
Well nothing else has been happening! I am stuck on a bed reading fanfiction, all my books, watching torchwood, merlin and dr who, every movie has been watched and I have just started a painting over everyone in my life, past and present, everyone that has made a differnece. Because friendship and love and all you need to be happy.

Life lessons

I wonder how many people have this title as a blog, many I would guess. But I yesterday I learnt something that I believe will change my life, something I learnt from being in a bad situation. My neighbour who is an older brother to me was diagnosed with cancer in July and I wasn't there, I was on the other side of the world. COming home my life was chanced, at every chance I spent time with him even though a few friends complained about it. I don't think they realised how scared I was, 7 months after I lost another person close to me from cancer I wasn't going to spend time without seeing him. We found out he was going to be ok but need chemotherapy and radiation, yesterday he was on his 4th treatment of radiation. I gave up my afternoon to go with him to the hospital and sit in a waiting room, the most depressing room I have ever been in. A picture of a little 5 year old girl will forever be etched into my mind. She talked to me while my brother was getting treated, she talked about what she wanted for christmas, she even sang to me christmas carols. She told me she once had long blonde hair down to her waist, she had this bright blue eyes that spoke so many words. She never told me her name but when she went in her mother thanked me, she hadn't seen her daughter smile in 2 months, ever since they told her she had 3-4 months to live. This little girl might not even make it to christmas, and she is only 5 years old.
It made me value life, I had spent the day before laughing and joking with Justin over msn about french maid out fits and "I love it down there", when this little girl was living her last weeks. I decided last night that I want to live my life to the fullest, I want to be around people who make me smile and laugh, people who care about me.
Friends who can't make time for you are not really true friends.

Dear Justin, my stalker

The start of a new post after the most eventful year of my life so far, not saying much considering I am only 18 years old. But this year has been the most amazing year I have lived and will probably be for a very long time.
As a girl my afe I would probably say it was because of an amazing boyfriend, but no I have been single this whole year, no I have not gone out getting drunk every weekend, I have made friends around the world, travelled to places I never would have travelled. But most of all, I learnt who I really am.

I spent the firt 7 months of this year living in Germany as an exchange student, and believe me life was complicated. My host Dad decided he wanted to be a woman in March, so I watched him turn into a woman over night. I had to deal with people's comments, it made me realise how appearance does not make a person who they are. Returning home I realise how people judge by appearance so much, it's disgusting how guys will only judge a girl for her appearance and girls only like hot guys.
But back to the good things. I made friends that I will keep for life over in Germany, also making friends from America, France, Switzerland, England, Columbia, New Zeland and of course a very amazing girl by the name Caitlin who come from my country but a different city. These people saw me for who I really was, I didn't have this fascade that I had during my high school years.
I also found a person who I truly liked, not loved but someone who I could see myself enjoying my life with, but now he lives on the other side of the world and I have to settle as friends, hopefully there is someone else out there.

Coming home was great for the first few weeks, so many people to see, being in the place I grew up, coming home to the people I knew. And suddenly people noticed I was different and they started to talk behind my backs. Now really we were meant to be adults, or atleast a mature age, it hurt, it really did but somehow I remember hearing a phrase I used on a friend a while back, If people wish to go behind your back, they are not true friends, move on there are better people out there. SO I left them behind, broke my contact with them, right now I only take to a half of my group of friends from high school. I sometimes think I should keep that contact but then I realise they didn't want to keep the contact so I don't worry about it.


November was an interesting month after discovering why my father's family hated me, disowned me at birth I went through a stage. I couldn't tell my friends, my friends in Perth wouldn't understand and wouldn't be able to support me, my other friends were all too far away to see in person. I was lucky enough to be going to Adelaide to celebrate Caitlin's 18th birthday, finally seeing my best friend in person after saying our goodbyes in Sydney airport on the 8th of August. It was the most amazing week I have had, sight seeing Adelaide, making friends with two of Caitlin's good friends, Tara and Justin. These friendships helped me for the party where I was introduced to most of her friends, I seemed to fit in so well here, a lot better than back home, I realised again that I had fell into my mask back home and it was finally removed. For the first time in awhile I had enjoyed myself, I felt that I belonged, even if it involved putting makeup on Justin. The night was amazing, even coming home after 3am maybe a little drunk. Caitlin's family was amazing, which did make me a little jealous but it was lovely living with them for that week.
They didn't complain that Caitlin and I were up until ungodly hours watching Torchwood and Dr Who, they didn't complain about me sleeping in a litte.
Caitlin was one of the best things to happen to me this year, I seriously don't know where I would be without her. Through her I met Justin who I seem to push all my problems onto over msn but he lets me and helps me to understand so thank you Justine, even though you sometimes annoy me with our big words and dirty mind!

Coming home was hard, leaving another place where I was accepted for who I am. I decided I wanted my friend to know who I really am. Firstly I opened up to Eileen after taking her to see Harry Potter, she saw some of my past and she didn't distance herself, I belive we became closer which made me feel better, made me believe things could get better. I am hoping to improve my relationship with my friends here even if I will move away in a few years, I want something here.

Today I organised some get together with friends hoping I can do something. Today was actually a good day, first driving lesson was a little scary but the instructor said I did really good for my first lesoon, did some parellel and reverse parking!

Finally note, friendship is what keeps us happy, it is something everyone needs.