Dear Justin, my stalker

The start of a new post after the most eventful year of my life so far, not saying much considering I am only 18 years old. But this year has been the most amazing year I have lived and will probably be for a very long time.
As a girl my afe I would probably say it was because of an amazing boyfriend, but no I have been single this whole year, no I have not gone out getting drunk every weekend, I have made friends around the world, travelled to places I never would have travelled. But most of all, I learnt who I really am.

I spent the firt 7 months of this year living in Germany as an exchange student, and believe me life was complicated. My host Dad decided he wanted to be a woman in March, so I watched him turn into a woman over night. I had to deal with people's comments, it made me realise how appearance does not make a person who they are. Returning home I realise how people judge by appearance so much, it's disgusting how guys will only judge a girl for her appearance and girls only like hot guys.
But back to the good things. I made friends that I will keep for life over in Germany, also making friends from America, France, Switzerland, England, Columbia, New Zeland and of course a very amazing girl by the name Caitlin who come from my country but a different city. These people saw me for who I really was, I didn't have this fascade that I had during my high school years.
I also found a person who I truly liked, not loved but someone who I could see myself enjoying my life with, but now he lives on the other side of the world and I have to settle as friends, hopefully there is someone else out there.

Coming home was great for the first few weeks, so many people to see, being in the place I grew up, coming home to the people I knew. And suddenly people noticed I was different and they started to talk behind my backs. Now really we were meant to be adults, or atleast a mature age, it hurt, it really did but somehow I remember hearing a phrase I used on a friend a while back, If people wish to go behind your back, they are not true friends, move on there are better people out there. SO I left them behind, broke my contact with them, right now I only take to a half of my group of friends from high school. I sometimes think I should keep that contact but then I realise they didn't want to keep the contact so I don't worry about it.


November was an interesting month after discovering why my father's family hated me, disowned me at birth I went through a stage. I couldn't tell my friends, my friends in Perth wouldn't understand and wouldn't be able to support me, my other friends were all too far away to see in person. I was lucky enough to be going to Adelaide to celebrate Caitlin's 18th birthday, finally seeing my best friend in person after saying our goodbyes in Sydney airport on the 8th of August. It was the most amazing week I have had, sight seeing Adelaide, making friends with two of Caitlin's good friends, Tara and Justin. These friendships helped me for the party where I was introduced to most of her friends, I seemed to fit in so well here, a lot better than back home, I realised again that I had fell into my mask back home and it was finally removed. For the first time in awhile I had enjoyed myself, I felt that I belonged, even if it involved putting makeup on Justin. The night was amazing, even coming home after 3am maybe a little drunk. Caitlin's family was amazing, which did make me a little jealous but it was lovely living with them for that week.
They didn't complain that Caitlin and I were up until ungodly hours watching Torchwood and Dr Who, they didn't complain about me sleeping in a litte.
Caitlin was one of the best things to happen to me this year, I seriously don't know where I would be without her. Through her I met Justin who I seem to push all my problems onto over msn but he lets me and helps me to understand so thank you Justine, even though you sometimes annoy me with our big words and dirty mind!

Coming home was hard, leaving another place where I was accepted for who I am. I decided I wanted my friend to know who I really am. Firstly I opened up to Eileen after taking her to see Harry Potter, she saw some of my past and she didn't distance herself, I belive we became closer which made me feel better, made me believe things could get better. I am hoping to improve my relationship with my friends here even if I will move away in a few years, I want something here.

Today I organised some get together with friends hoping I can do something. Today was actually a good day, first driving lesson was a little scary but the instructor said I did really good for my first lesoon, did some parellel and reverse parking!

Finally note, friendship is what keeps us happy, it is something everyone needs.